The Small Things 2019

A collection of initial thoughts from the films of today

MAY 5th: I don’t handle horror films very well. In fact I can count the number of them I’ve seen on one hand. Tonight I saw Pet Semetary and it wasn’t worth the emotional trauma. The lead child and John Lithgow were both very good though.

MAY 26th: Just saw Shazam! It’s a fun time with a lot of heart

JUN 3rd: Hellboy(2019) is a gross film. It is a cacophony of sound and bad CGI. It’s not worth watching even if you can get it for free.

JUN 10th: Pokemon: Detective Pickachu is wonderful. It’s a brilliant introduction for newcomers with plenty of nods for longtime fans. The CGI blends effortlessly and the acting is terrific. If you or your child is interested, this film will not disappoint.

JUN 12th: Tolkien is a well written and respectable biopic of the authors life. Doesn’t shy away from the horrors of war either. Worth the watch.

JUN 18th: Aladdin(2019) is a passable update to the classic tale. Will Smith is fun and ,though several CG effects were not as crisp as they could be, it wasn’t bad enough to put me off. The best of these live action remakes to me.

JUN 23rd: Rocketman may be rated 15 but it should be seen by everyone.

JUN 27th: John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum is a satisfactory conclusion to the John Wick trilogy. It is by far the most violent of the 3 and definitely less plot driven. If you want a 2 hour long action scene, this one’s for you.

JUN 30th: Godzilla: King of the Monsters is just one massive set-piece. It exists to have Kaiju battles that are as realistic as possible. The human characters exist purely to progress the plot to its next fight. It is AWESOME. Long live the king.

JUL 7th: X-Men: Dark Phoenix should have been Fox’s answer to Avengers: Endgame. It’s the conclusion of a saga of films. Instead it manages to crawl over the finish line with a display of character bastardisations. Worth seeing for its set-pieces and because it’s the last of its kind.

JUL 24th: Toy Story 4 proves once again why PIXAR is at the forefront of children’s animation. Toy Story 3 was a bigger tearjerker but I’d still advise you to bring tissues.

JUL 26th: Spider-Man: Far From Home would have made the perfect Spider-Man 4. Yes really.

AUG 5th: The Lion King (2019) might actually be the most blatant and soulless cash grab I’ve ever seen. Timon, Pumbaa and Zazu are the only reasons to watch it. Honestly you should just re-watch the original.

AUG 13th: Anna isn’t the best Russian spy film. It is a lot of fun tough with great action scenes. Acting is also pretty good but mainly it’s just a neat way to pass the time if you like that sort of film.

AUG 16th: The DeadDon’t Die is wonderfully absurd. I didn’t realise that I needed a calm, deadpan comedy about zombies. Also helps to have a catchy theme song (available now).

AUG 22nd: Invader Zim: Enter The Florpus is so good that it finally convinced me to watch the original TV show. I’d been putting that off for 2 years. Oddball sci-fi humour and great animation with some stellar voice work.

AUG 31st: Fast and Furious: Hobbes and Shaw is 2 hours of testosterone fuelled fun. A great excuse to just turn off your brain and enjoy some brilliant set-pieces.

SEP 9th: I think Jim Henson would be very proud of The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance on Netflix. Its a masterclass in puppetry and storytelling. Clearly a lot of passion from the team in every single frame.

SEP 20th: I don’t know who Good Boys is aimed at but I hope they enjoyed it. I certainly did. The sheer absurdity of the plot is such a fun jab at the drama of college-teen films.

SEP 29th: It: Chapter 2 doesn’t have many scares, its just super gross and weird. Probably the best adaption of a Stephen King novel so far? It DOES have good gay representation though which is more than i can say for most blockbusters.

OCT 4th: As I near the end of 2019 after seeing 37 films (and counting) I’ve decided not to do a “Top 10 best/worse of the year” list. Frankly, I take no enjoyment in pitting films against each other and that’s the same reason I don’t rate them. However I probably will do a “My 10 faves of the year” or something. Don’t know that Ill put films from December on that list but we shall see…

OCT 21st: Today would have been Carrie Fishers 63rd birthday. She should have gone from celebrating this to promoting Star Wars Episode 9. I still remember the moment I read the announcement. I didn’t speak for the rest of the day. I tried to cope by watching Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan. I told myself that its ending was why I cried so much. It wasn’t.
I miss you Carrie. We all do.

OCT 27th: Judy is beautifully heartbreaking. A painful reminder of just how badly The Industry treated one of its finest sweethearts. Reneé Zellweger is wonderfully cast.
Judy Garland deserved better 🌹

OCT 30th: With 50 days until Rise of Skywalker is released, I just want to ask something. Regardless of whether you like the film or not can we please keep it civil?
If Reylo does or doesn’t happen. If Palpatine is or isn’t alive. If Anakin/Obi Wan do or don’t return. If your opinion is negative or positive. Can we please not turn on each other?
The Last Jedi ended up having the most divisive reactions I’ve ever seen. People were threatened and left Twitter over it. There were petitions to remove it from canon and calls to keep it. Just watching that back and forth was exhausting and we cannot treat each other like that. The world needs civility now more than ever.
May the force be with us all.

NOV 3rd: Joker is an excellent conversation starter about our society. Joaquin Phoenix achieves the gritty and uncomfortable performance that Heath Ledger didn’t quite manage to provide. I’ll stick with Jack Nicholson though.

NOV 12th: I can’t believe it’s been a year. I’m still processing your passing and I probably will be for a while. Your impact and the impact of your characters is indescribable. We will love and miss you, forever.

NOV 14th: I’m aware that I’m not the demographic for Dora the Explorer but my sister was. As a result I know more about Dora lore than I probably should. With that said, Dora and the Lost City of Gold is good for Dora fans past and present. Indiana Jones for children.

NOV 19th: Zombieland: Double Tap isn’t an instant classic like the original. It’s not quite as funny or as heartfelt but it’s still a fun time. And it really is nice to catch up with these characters after so long. One every decade wouldn’t be so bad.

NOV 22nd: As far as I’m concerned, T2 marked a canonical end to the story. Everything after that is a What If scenario. As “What If” scenarios go Terminator: Dark Fate is pretty good. CGI can be a bit rubbery but it’s focused on people and violence, like it should be. Solid.

NOV 26th: Maleficent: Mistress of Evil is visually stunning, even more so in 3D. As children’s film sequels go, its one of the better ones. Diaval is bae.

NOV 26th: My biggest problem with Avengers Endgame is the way it treated Thor. He can be fat because he’s depressed but I take great issue with it being a continual punchline. I also take issue with his design, which accentuates how overweight he is. I’m bringing it up now, 7 months later, because the concept art was finally released. They are all better than the design they eventually settled on. They all use baggy clothing to cover his figure. One of them even has a poncho in Loki’s colours. They could have treated him with the respect that he deserves but they threw it away for a gag. Marvel should be ashamed.

DEC 3rd: The most amazing thing about Doctor Sleep is that it clocks in at 2 and a half hours, but never feels like it overstays its welcome. Between that and the cinematography, this is a wonderful sequel to that wonderful classic The Shining

DEC 8th: I’ve never really been into sports but if they were anything like The Shiny Shrimps I’d adore them. A beautiful story that has plenty of joy and the French language makes everything more beautiful

DEC 9th: The trailer for Ghostbusters:Afterlife is finally here. Regardless of peoples feelings, can we please not use it to rip the 2016 film a new one? It was fine on its own so please just enjoy this one without comparison.

DEC 15th: After 35 years, Gremlins is still a fun festive time for all the family. A must see for anyone who loves Christmas or B-Movies.

DEC 16th: I was unsure how I’d react to Frozen II because my sister was The Demographic for the original. I became very tired of it very quickly. So I’m pleased to report that the sequel is a fun time for children and adults.

DEC 19th: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker is going to piss some people off. Not me though, i thought it was a fitting end to a saga that I love very dearly.

If your child is particularly sensitive and cannot handle dark/grim visuals, please vet the film before taking them. The BBFC website is a good place to do this. Will contain spoilers.

DEC 28th: 2019 was a devisive year for film, much like 2018 before it. As we head into 2020 I cant help but worry that it’s getting worse. It seems as if people may have forgotten how to enjoy themselves and I implore them to remember. Hating a film is easy, anybody can do it, I’ve seen people build careers off of it. Liking films is more fun for everyone involved, both the audience and the creators. So as we head into the new decade please remember…
Every film is worth something.

Signed: Your friendly neighbourhood queer

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