Unus Annus: Month 3

*All typos are present in the original source and have been preserved for the sake of history*

[14/01/20] Fixing Mark’s Hole With Ramen but Every Time We Add Glue We Get 5% Closer to God

We try to fix the hole Mark punched in the wall with ramen to test thhe myth of whether it can be used for repairs. Also we don’t ventilate properly.

[15/01/20] Mark Steals Ethan’s Face

In an effort to steal his identity, Mark makes a mold of Ethan’s face. **THIS IS NOT A TUTORIAL.** We left out lots of vital information necessary to pull this off safely. If you’re interested in making your own face mold, there are many comprehensive tutorials on Youtube that can teach you. Always do your research and have a safety plan in place! Unus Annus!

[16/01/20] You Breathe You Die

The rules are simple: You Breathe, You Die.

Winner: Ethan

[17/01/20] 2 Absolute Beginners Experience the Dancing Glory That is Salsa

Salsa is the ancient art of dance whereby the dancers express thoughts and emotions through the undulations of their hips. We attempt to learn the mysterious ways of this sanctified dance.

Get Dancing @ https://www.thirdstreetdance.com

[18/01/20] DIY Geriatric Simulator

What does it feel like to be old? Well now you can find out with our patent-pending geriatric simulator!

[19/01/20] This is How We’ll Die

There are so many ways that our mortal souls can perish, but today we find out EVERY possible way that they could drift into the great beyond.

Deaths: Lightning, Heart Attack, Old Age, Falling, Poisoning, Intestinal Explosion, Burning, Drowning, Bear, Duelling, Plague, Shark, Bomb, Zombie, Allergic Reaction, Stampede, Aliens, Hitman, World of Warcraft, Steamroller, Asteroid, Being Bruce Willis in the movies “Armageddon”, “Looper” or “The Sixth Sense”

[20/01/20] We Cryogenically Freeze Ourselves

Long have men dreamed of eternal life. Walt Disney famously froze himself to awaken in a world ruled by The Mouse. Today we embark on that very same, frosty journey.

[21/01/20] This is What Being Tased Feels Like

A Taser is NOT a toy! Do not try this at home. Mark is a professionally trained idiot with people on standby to help in case something goes wrong. This is what it feels like to be hit with a taser or stun gun.

Note: Being tased sucks. Do what you can to avoid it

[22/01/20] What Happens When A Youtube Channel Dies

We explore the wasteland of channels past. Gone but not forgotten. Because the internet never forgets.

Answer: They stay up

The Channels: FPS Russia, FRED, Sam Pepper, LonelyGirl15

[23/01/20] Bad Bad Beans

In search of the energy to fuel a long day of making sweet sweet internet content, Mark and Ethan turn some bad bad beans into good good latte art. #LattAnnus (shoutout to Bon Appetit for inspiring this video)

[24/01/20] We Hired a Real Hypnotherapist to Analyze Our Darkest Dreams

Hypnotherapy is the art of mental suggestion. This isn’t the stage entertainment variety of hypnosis. This is real therapy to help people get in touch with what’s bothering them deep inside.

Find Liza Here ➤ https://healwithin.com

[25/ 01/20] We Turned Our Bodies Into Art

Art comes in many forms. This time it comes in the form of our bodies.

Ethan’s Body: The Reverse Flash

Mark’s Body: Poison Ivy

[26/01/20] Mark and Ethan Learn About the Human Body

Mark and Ethan learn the inner workings of the wonderful human body

[27/01/20] Mark Punishes Ethan

Ethan messed up. He messed up real bad… and now he has to pay.

[28/01/20] Strange (and Legal) Things You Can Do With Your Body After Death

Eventually, we’ll all have to decide what is to be done with our remains once we pass on. How will you be remembered?

The Things: Donate it do science, preserve it, get buried in various ways, launch it, endo-cannibalism

[29/01/20] DIY Cheese

Mark and Ethan explore the wonderful world of cheese. Will they succeed in becoming world class cheesemongers, or will their dreams curdle before their eyes?

[30/01/20] Hacking the Very Fabric of the Universe

Using the sacred texts of 5 Minute Crafts, we harness the incredible power of “life hacks” to achieve immortality.

[31/01/20] Looking at Long Lost Memes

Time never stops marching forward, even for memes. Like a black hole, once memes slip past the point of relevance they fade away into oblivion. Can we can pull them back from the shadows?

The Memes: Dancing Baby GIF, Advice Animals, You’re the Man Now Dog, The Rickroll, Rage Comics, Bad Luck Brian, Overly Attatched Girlfriend, ROFLcopter, It’s a Trap, Hampster Dance, All Your Base Are Belong To Us, Godwin’s Law, Bite of ’87, Tiny Hands OMFG

[01/02/20] Discovering the Secret of Eternal Life

While delving into the deepest pits of the Internet, Mark and Ethan discover the secret to everlasting life

The Secret: Eat healthy and stay active. Or upload your brain into a cybernetic organism

[02/02/20] Turning Mark into an E-Boy

In an attempt to keep his youth, Mark transform into an E-Boy

[03/02/20] Ethan Redefines Male Beauty

Ethan, a god of beauty, looked upon the world of male beauty and found it WANTING. Taking matters into his own, meaty claws, and redefines exactly what it means to be beautiful.

[04/02/20] Professional Fire Cupping (Going Even Further Beyond)

Mark and Ethan turn to a professional to feed their cupping addiction. Fire cupping… facial cupping… acupuncture cupping… where does it end?

Hybrid Wellness ➤ https://hybridwellness.net/

[05/02/20] An Extremely Sour, Not-at-all Sour Meal

Mark and Ethan experiment with miracle berries-the fruit that turns sour things sweet. Is there a limit to what these berries are capable of?

The Meal: Steak, Potato, Bread and salad followed by Red Velvet Cake. All covered in Citric Acid, Malic Acid and M-Berry

Sour Flavour Baseline: Grapefruit

[06/02/20] Literally Eating Fire

Yes, you read that right. Mark and Ethan learn how to literally eat fire. Don’t try this at home…

Taught By ► https://www.vixendeville.com/

[07/02/20] Unregulated Axe Throwing

While being watched over by the Axe Gods themselves, Mark and Ethan compete to see who is truly the axe-throwing champion

Mark’s Score: 16

Ethan’s Score: 11

[08/02/20] Literally Laying on Literal Broken Glass

Testing the limits of the human body, Mark and Ethan lay themselves upon a bed of broken glass. So sharp and so deadly that only the BRAVE and the BOLD could survive its teeth.

Our Teacher ► https://www.vixendeville.com

[09/02/20] Making an Indoor Tornado to Flex on Mother Nature

Mother Nature thinks that she alone holds the power of the elements in her big meaty claws… well what will she think when we CREATE A TORNADO INDOORS?!

[10/02/20] Nutball: The Most Dangerous Game

14 years ago, Mark changed the game of Nutball forever by inventing it. And now… Ethan gets to experience the glory that is THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME.

[11/02/20] Becoming a Master of Mime

To become a master of life and death, one must first become a master of the body. A master of movement. A master of mime.

Lorin ► http://www.mimetheatrestudio.com

[12/02/20] Discussing the Idea of Murdering Each Other but it’s Just a Joke and Definitely Not Serious Haha

It’s perfectly normal to discuss the possibility of how you would murder your friends with those friends and converse in great detail about how you would get away with said murder. We call this the Murder Your Friend Tag haha.

Signed: Your friendly neighbourhood queer

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