Unus Annus: Month 7

*All typos are present in the original source and have been preserved for the sake of history*

[13/05/20] Mark Teaches Ethan Korean

Korean is a beautiful language that Mark is currently learning. However he doesn’t really know it that well. But that doesn’t stop him from attempting to beam Korean directly into Ethan’s brain.

[14/05/20] Bigfoot is Real and It Ate My Friend

Bigfoot. Sasquatch. Another keyword. He goes by many names. But once you see the irrefutable evidence… you will only call him… friend.

[15/05/20] The End of Unus Annus is Almost Here…

6 months has already flown by. Only 6 months left to go on our little adventure. Have you forgotten that this is coming to an end? Have you forgotten that this train will reach its destination? It’s only a matter of time, now…. so, will you join us?

[16/05/20] We Explore the Unus Annus Subreddit for Your Delicious Memes

Once again, we look at all the wonderful, funny, and downright disturbing memes you fine folks have posted on the Unus Annus Subreddit.

[17/05/20] How Big Can a Nuke Get?

Every wanted answers to the fun, interesting questions that keep you awake at night? Well today’s your lucky day!

Find Out Here ►https://outrider.org/nuclear-weapons/interactive/bomb-blast/ Kurzgesagt

Nuke Video ►https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyECrGp-Sw8

[18/05/20] How Much Caffeine Does It Take to Kill a Man?

As pioneer Phillip J. Fry has previously established, it is totally possible to transcend reality through the imbibition of gratuitous amounts of coffee. In this video, we explore the fine line betwixt god-like omnipotence and an untimely demise. Lo doth the tale of Icarus cometh whence to mine mind?

Find Out @ https://www.caffeineinformer.com/death-by-caffeine

[19/05/20] Drinking Real THICC Water…How Bad Does It Taste?

This water is THICC. Think of the THICC’est thing you can think of. Thicker than THICC. That’s this water. It’s THICC water. And we drink it.

Answer: Bad

[20/05/20] We Played Strip Poker

It’s a risky game as old as time itself: Strip Poker. One Winner. One Loser. One ring to rule them all. One ring to find them. No clothes, all attitude. This summer, two mighty heroes take on their biggest challenge yet. Who will win? Who will die? Yes.

Winner: Ethan

[21/05/20] Harnessing Our Yodelling Power to End the World as We Know It

You hear that? Off in the distance? That, my friends, is the sound of two gods screaming into the ether. It is the first sound in the morning and the last sound at night. It is the call to end all calls. It is… THE YODEL.

[22/05/20] Mark Cooks Blindfolded While Ethan Guides Him Through FaceTime

Umm… you probably shouldn’t attempt to do this at home. In fact don’t. Definitely do not do the this that we are doing. Definitely do not do. Don’t.

The Meal: An Omelette with Large Onion Chunks

[23/05/20] We Play the Newlywed Game While Consuming That Which Will Kill the Other

Mark and Ethan test how well they really know each other with the classic 1960’s sensation known as the Newlywed Game. Also we consume each other’s poisons.

Ethan Consumes: Beer

Mark Consumes: Peanut Butter

[24/05/20] DIY Boob

The Boys Make a Boob… Quarantine will make anyone desperate.

Ethan’s Boob: Flour and Egg in a Ziploc Bag

Mark’s Boob: Bread in a Balloon

[25/05/20] We Have the Best Bellies on Youtube

Our bellies are the best bellies. Anyone who disagrees is WRONG with the FACT and will have their heads squooshed betwixt our glorious tummies. Also we learn to belly dance.

[26/05/20] The Unus Annus Confessional Booth

We called upon you: our lovely followers to confess your deepest, darkest secrets to us… and what we found was more shocking than any mere mortal can bare.

[27/05/20] DO NOT OPEN UNTIL 2080

Some secrets should stay buried…

Note: I opted not to list the items in their Time Capsules because that ruins the fun

[28/05/20] Only UNUS-es May Watch This Video

If you are an UNUS… you are welcome here. If you are an ANNUS… begone!! You shall not befoul this sacred ground with your musk!

THE OFFICIAL UNUS ICON ► https://i.imgur.com/11naQSX.jpg

Note: This video was for me

[28/05/20] Only ANNUS-es May Watch This Video

If you are an ANNUS… you already know that you’re welcome here. Those are an unworthy… I shall not even speak thy name… BEGONE, CRETIN!!

THE OFFICIAL ANNUS ICON ► https://i.imgur.com/1HyCAMs.jpg

Note: This video was for my fiance

[29/05/20] Only Watch from 2:15 to 6:11 — DO NOT WATCH ANY OTHER PART OF THIS VIDEO

Annus has officially been declared the WINNER! Please skip to 2:15 to view Annus’s glorious appreciation segment and cease watching at exactly 6:11. DO NOT WATCH ANY OTHER PART OF THE VIDEO. DO NOT.

[30/05/20] DIY Wine

Bonjour! Je vois que vous êtes aussi une personne de culture qui aime les belles choses de la vie. Rejoignez-nous! Rejoignez-nous alors que nous prenons part au necteur des dieux qu’est le vin.

[31/05/20] Tearing a Phone Book in Half With Our Huge Manly Muscles

One half Unus, the other half Annus. Two halves of one whole. One soul. One Phone book now torn in half. We have big big muscles, we know.

Note: They did not tear the whole thing, but managed smaller pieces.

[01/06/20] 2 Complete Amateurs Enter a Body Building Competition

Welcome to the First Annual Unus Annus Body Building Competition Extravaganza! Who will wear the crown of best bod?

Winner: It’s a draw

[02/06/20] BLACK LIVES MATTER. Resources and How You Can Help in the Description

Black Lives Matter. Let’s work together as a community to make a real difference. Not sure where to begin? There are so many ways to get involved. This movement is fluid and growing every day, so it is up to us to seek out spaces where we can make a difference. Look on social media for local fundraising efforts that speak to you. Amplify those efforts and continue spreading the word. Below are some of our personal recommendations:

DONATE.

Split a donation between 40 Community Bail Funds, including the LGBTQ Fund.

https://secure.actblue.com/donate/bail_funds_george_floyd

Help fund nonprofit journalism covering criminal justice.

https://www.themarshallproject.org/donate

Since May 29, there have been over 125 press freedom violations reported by journalists during the demonstrations against the death of George Floyd.

https://cpj.org

SPEAK OUT.

Sign Amnesty International’s Letter to Minnesota Governor Tim Walz.

https://www.amnesty.org/en/get-involved/take-action/george-floyd-police-violence-usa/

Make Calls with The Action Pac. Dial the number and it will walk you through the process and what to say.

https://www.justiceforbigfloyd.com/make-calls

LEARN.

Watch the documentary 13th which covers the criminalization of African Americans and the U.S. prison boom.

https://www.netflix.com/gb/title/80091741

Dive deeper. Take the Open Yale Course “African American History: From Emancipation to the Present.”

https://oyc.yale.edu/african-american-studies/afam-162

Above all else, elevate black voices and listen. Together we can make America a more just home.

[03/06/20] Crushing Watermelons Betwixt Our Mighty Thighs

We return once again to showcase our feats of incredible strength. Gaze upon our mammoth hams as we quash these juicy gourds.

Note: They do not succeed

[04/06/20] Morphing Our Bodies Into Superhero Poses

You hear that? That call in the night? The call for help? The call for justice? The call for a hero? WE will answer that call.

[05/06/20] Reacting to Your Hilarious Green Screen Memes

As you know, the first annual Unus Annus Green Screen Competition took place just last week and now it’s time to review the winners!

[06/06/20] Mark Teaches Ethan to Read with Hooked on Phonics

Ethan’s dream has always been to learn the mysteries of the written word. With Mark’s BIG BRAIN, he might just make a breakthrough.

[07/06/20] Ethan Roasts Mark for 15 Minutes Straight

Mark is a bad bad man who needs to be exposed for his sins. Ethan is just the right big bold boy to roast Mark to a crisp!

[08/06/20] There’s Something Horribly Wrong With This Picture...

Don’t look to closely at these pictures. If you can see them… they can see you too. And then they’ll know exactly where to find you.

[09/06/20] Attempting to Build IKEA Furniture Without Instructions

Carpentry may have proven too difficult for Ethan to master. Perhaps assembling IKEA furniture is more his speed. Too bad he lost the instructions.

Result: Furniture is built effectively-ish

[10/06/20] Mark and Ethan Become United States Citizens

ah, America. Land of the free(?) Home of the brave(?) Do Mark and Ethan have what it takes to be top tier US citizens?

Answer: Test Result unclear. But they haven’t been kicked out so I guess they passed.

[11/06/20] We Made Fanart for Each Other

Fanart is the purest expression of appreciation. It is love distilled. It is light purified. Today, Mark and Ethan express their undying appreciation for each other through the delightful medium of fanart.

Signed: Your friendly neighbourhood queer

One thought on “Unus Annus: Month 7

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