Unus Annus: Month 9

*All typos are present in the original source and have been preserved for the sake of history*

[13/07/20] Can You Bake a Cookie from Cookie Dough Ice Cream?

Fools. We’ve been fools all along. Why would we make cookie dough ourselves when we have an unlimited supply in the ice cream around us!?

Answer: Yes. But it’s not advised.

[14/07/20] Bleachus Annus

Arts and crafts are definitely a strong-suit of Mark and Ethan’s. Today they explore the world of bleaching their clothes

[15/07/20] Dunking Oreos In Literally Anything But Milk

You’ve simply assumed it to be true. “Milk’s Favorite Cookie,” huh? Are you really going to keep believing the LIES being fed to you by BIG MILK??? We’re here to find out the TRUTH.

Not Milk: Frank’s Hot Sauce, Ranch Dressing, Chicken Broth, Butter Rich Syrup, Balsamic Vinegar with Vegetable Oil, Kimchi Juice, Soy Sauce, Rao’s Marinara Sauce, Top of the Morning Cold Coffee, Orange Juice, Oat Milk

[16/07/20] Preparing a 5-Star Meal for Our Youtube Famous Dogs

Our dogs ARE the best. Therefore they DESERVE the best. Chica is not spoiled. Henry is not spoiled. Spencer is not spoiled. We are not accepting questions at this time.

The Meal: Bacon Powder, Chicken Broth Cavier and Salmon Moose

[17/07/20] DIY Teeth

Someday soon, we’ll get old. Our bodies will start to crumble, our teeth will rot out. Today, we prepare for that day.

[18/07/20] How to Escape from a Hostage Situation

How many times have you found yourself tied to a chair in a dimly-lit basement? TOO MANY!! Let us help you out of that sticky situation!

[19/07/20] Does This Magnetic Skincare Routine Really Work?

The secret to eternal youth? Lotions? Balms? Cream? No you absolute buffoon. Magnets!

Answer: Yes. But only if you read the instructions

[20/07/20] DIY Bed of Nails: OH GOD, PLEASE DON’T EVER TRY THIS

Please… this is a joke. Don’t ever ever ever ever do this ever.

[21/07/20] The Human Mop

Man versus Machine. Overcoming the inevitable robot takeover will one day be humanity’s greatest challenge. But what if man and machine come together to form a being that is even greater than the sum of its parts?

[22/07/20] Can Sound Therapy Heal All Wounds?

Sound Therapy is the art of tapping into the acoustics of the universe to coax the human body to heal itself. Basically we’re yelling into our wounds.

Answer: Yes. But go to a professional

[23/07/20] This Is The Most Dangerous Children’s Toy Ever Made

What was once an innocent childs toy, is now revealed to be a dangerous chemical weapon

The Toy: Bloonies

[24/07/20] Would Chica Save Us From Drowning?

Chica is a good girl. But is she the right girl for the job? Is she capable of saving her father’s life and becoming Markiplier’s Hero?

Answer: No. But she’s a good girl

[25/07/20] We Do It Better Than Icarus Ever Could

Icarus was a brash fool who couldn’t invent wings to save his life… AND HE DIDN’T! BECAUSE HE BURNT UP! AND IS NOW NOT ALIVE!

[26/07/20] The Beginning of The End

We will not go gentle into that good night

[27/07/20] The Annual Unus Annus Dunk Contest

Every year for one year only, Mark and Ethan go head-to-head to see who can shoot the biggest hoop.

Winner: It’s a draw

[28/07/20] Ultimate Horseshoes

Welcome to the wild, wild west. Where the air is dry, the men are manly, and the horses wear shoes, apparently.

[29/07/20] A Serious Conversation Under the Stars

There’s always time to appreciate the stars.

[30/07/20] Recharging Our Phones Using Only Brute Strength

Unus Annus is our name, and cranking it is our game

[31/07/20] 5 Products to Grow Your Patchy Beard

In their unending search for perfection, Mark and Ethan attempt to fix what may be their one and only flaw: their mediocre facial hair.

The Products: Hair Building Fibres, Spray applicator, Beard Pen, Fake Beard

[01/08/20] Mark Teaches Ethan How to Play the Trumpet

*No Description*

[02/08/20] Playing Cards: The World’s Deadliest Weapon

Playing cards: to some, a fun family game. To others: the deadliest weapon known to man.

[03/08/20] We Lubed Our Floor for a Sliding Competition

Lube? Check. Socks? Check. Safety? Overrated! Let’s get our slide on!

Winner: Mark

[04/08/20] Breaking Glass With Our Screams

No mere mortals are more qualified to shatter glass than two men who have spent years honing the craft of screaming at video games.

Note: They do not succeed

[05/08/20] This is Goodbye

Only 100 days left. Will you make the most of it?

[06/08/20] Mark and Ethan Share a Drink

For the first time ever, Mark and Ethan share a drink. A very special drink.

The Drink: Apple Cider Vinegar

Note: DO NOT DRINK THIS IN MASS QUANTITY

[07/08/20] The Wubble

Bloonies are the worst children’s toy ever invented. Can the mysterious Wubble make up for it’s shortcomings? Unus Annus Toy Reviews is here to give you the exclusive scoop.

[08/08/20] Mark and Ethan Save Chica

Coming at you hot and fresh with another wholesome dog video. This time Mark and Ethan steal Chica’s one and only possession in this world… her fur.

[09/08/20] DO NOT TRY THIS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES

No. Just no. Do not ever do this. We are certified idiots that have no credentials at all. Do not follow in the footsteps of our stupidity.

Note: They played five finger filet. With knife-proof gloves.

[10/08/20] Judging Your Terrible Unus Annus Ideas

You think you’ve got what it takes to make an Unus Annus video huh? Pfft. You WISH you had the creative genius to come up with ideas as unique as “10 Strange Products We Bought Off Amazon.”

[11/08/20] Hydro Dipping a Baby

Hydro Dipping is the ancient art of submerging an infant in water and noxious paint fumes, symbolizing purification and rebirth.

Signed: Your friendly neighbourhood queer

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