Christmas Watchlist 2022

The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special (2022)

Another of the Marvel Cinematic Universes Special Presentations, this time centering on the titular Guardians at Christmas. It’s soaked in the spirit of the season, demonstrates these characters at their best and has a heck of a soundtrack. This got several viewings.

Dr Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

This Jim Carrey classic has been a yearly tradition since childhood. It’s bombastic, ridiculous and manages to make The Grinch a relatable character but that’s what makes it unique. It’s not for everyone but I quote it year round. Full review HERE.

Home Alone (1990)

What is there to say about the iconic John Hughes film that hasn’t been said already? It’s full of heart, Christmas vibes and another belter of a soundtrack from the legendary John Williams. It’s no surprise that it’s become as beloved as it has. Full review HERE.

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)

This sequel shares a lot of similarities to the original, which annoys a lot of viewers. It’s also clear that Macauly Culkin isn’t as uncorrupted by Hollywood as he once was. But the Christmas vibes and spectacular soundtrack are still present as well as a truly iconic Tim Curry performance. Full review HERE.

Prep & Landing (2009)

This Disney short film about a couple of elves, one of whom is tired of his job, is similair to Arthur Christmas but not so much that it’s just the same story. It’s cleverly designed and written, with a few solid voice performances.

Prep & Landing: Secret Santa (2010)

The elves return in this very short short-film, which isn’t so much a sequel as it is a palette cleanser between releases. Again, it’s very clever with it’s visuals but it’s the Mission Impossible style task and object that they’re retrieving that makes this so good.

Prep & Landing: Naughty Vs Nice (2011)

This sequel is a lovely little follow up. It features a genuine threat with some darker visuals but the villain isn’t truly a villain. Slightly more obnoxious with the introduction of it’s new elf but a sibling rivalry is diifcult to mess up.

The Royal Ballet: The Nutcracker Live (2022)

Ballet is absolutely magical. Throw Christmas on top of that and it’s no shock that this particular story has been around for a century. I’ve only ever seen film/tv adaptations and, having seen the original, they all pale in comparrison however it is not the easiest story to adapt to another medium. May have to make this a yearly tradition too.

Violent Night (2022)

Not the last time you’ll see this on a list this year because this is an instant Christmas classic. Truly a spiritual successor to Die Hard, with a more comedic edge and some no-holds-barred violence. Also has a really interesting and unique take on the Santa mythos.

Office Christmas Party (2016)

Best watched with a friend and some alcohol, this is one of those ridiculous, raunchy comedies aimed at teens. It has the added benefit of featuring Jason Bateman and Kate Mackinnon, who are always giving 100% to their performances. Not great, but damn good fun.

Die Hard (1988)

This top tier Christmas classic has been a yearly staple since I ws considered old enough to watch it. Sure, it has great acting, brilliant action and some great music but it’s an annual reminder of just how brilliant the late Alan Rickman was. Hans Gruber only has perfect lines, that are quotable year round. Full review HERE.

Die Hard 2 (1990)

Just as good as the original. With a different location and different threat, it does what sequels should do by upping the stakes. John Maclane is even more out of his element here and the third act twist is brilliant. Full review HERE.

Mickey’s Christmas Carol (1983)

This is Disney as it should be. There’s no capitalism on focus on IP, there’s just a story designed to entertain and some heartfelt vocal performances. It perfectly condences the age old story into around 20 minutes and has the warmest vibes of any adaptation. Utterly lovely. Full review HERE.

Home Alone 4: Taking Back the House (2002)

Skipped out on the third installment this year and found myself missing it because this film is not good. Feels exactly how an early 2000’s ABC Studios direct-to-tv film in the worst way. Full review HERE.

Noelle (2019)

This Disney film stars Anna Kendrick as the unappreciated daughter of Santa and Bill Hader as the reluctant heir to the Santa throne. It has as much charisma as those two performers ever have and it’s wonderful. Heartwarming and smile-worthy. These two actors are just so great.

The Simpsons in Feliz Navidad (2022)

3 minutes long and not worth a single second. Disney was willing to pay for The Bocellis to sing in what is a glorified advertisement for their incresingly capitalistic empire. Throw in a joke about how it’s “for Disney+ so nobody’s getting paid” from the company who is as guilty of crunch time in animation as anyone else? Appaling.

A Muppet Family Christmas (1987)

A new Christmas tradition going forward and one that others have been enjoying annualy for quite a while. Featuring all the Henson TV characters and all the humour they bring with them, it’s a shining example of why they are so loved. Numerous festive songs and plenty of laughs, it warms the heart.

The Polar Express (2004)

Another yearly watch, although it isn’t for everyone. I’ve never been bothered by the animation that some have called “scarring” and the musical numbers, while infrequent, are delightful. Tom Hanks singing about Hot Chocolate is the kind of absurdity that should be in a film based on a picture book. The design of the North Pole is pretty good too.

A Garfield Christmas Special (1987)

Yet another new tradition going forward that others have been enjoying for years. It may be simple but it is so pure of heart and quintiseentially Garfield that it’s impossible not to smile at. The voice cast are all perfect but, of course, special props go to Pat Carroll who recently left us. What an absolute star.

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

The earliest of my traditions, this one has been a staple of my Christmas for as long as I can remember. The VHS Tape got plenty of love and the DVD copy has gotten just as much, as will the 4K copy when that is eventually bought. Although there’s something about the grainy quality of the footage that hits the nostalgia just right. Full review HERE.

The Santa Clause (1994)

The only part of the franchise that I found some time for this year, despite the recent release of the TV series. It’s exactly entertaining enough to have warrented two sequels, with particularly solid performances by Tim Allen and David Krumholtz.

A Pinky and the Brain Christmas (1992)

Of all the things on this list that will elicit tears, this may be the most surprising. It’s your typical Pinky and the Brain fare, with a Christmas twist, but it’s the ending that really drives it home. Never has a character so sweetly broken into the heart of someone so harsh. Beautiful.

Dr Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966)

The original adaptation and the best. Masterfully illustrated by Chuck Jones and his team with a marvellous narration from Boris Karloff and an iconic song sung by the voice of Tony the Tiger. It is relentlessly charming and has itslef influenced the adaptations that followed. Marvellous. Full review HERE.

A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)

A recent addition to the yearly Christmas watchlist that truly deserves to be a staple of everyone’s Christmas. It’s more of an American institution, continuing to be shown on TV every year, but it’s simplicity is its brilliance. Good shoutout to the original meaning of Christmas too.

Anna and the Apocalypse (2017)

What if Shaun of the Dead was set on Christmas day with teenagers and was a musical? You’d end up with this underappreciated festive treat. Aside from making the most of the medium in terms of choreography, it stars an all-British cast with some excellent songs and a top tier lesbian.

Home Alone 4: Taking Back the House

Franchise fatigue is nothing new. Everyone is talking about the countless Star Wars and Marvel Cinematic Universe projects, but Home Alone was ahead of the game. The first one is a beloved Christmas Classic, the second is a worthy (if not overly familiar) follow-up and the third is the last one that most people are aware of. At the very least, Home Alone 3 is the last one that people are willing to talk about. That’s because, those who have seen Home Alone 4: Taking Back the House, usually have nothing good to say about it…which isn’t a surprise.

The story serves as a direct sequel to the original, despite the 4 in the title, lack of anybody involved with the original and, continuity errors it causes if Home Alone 2: Lost in New York is still canon. 9-year old Kevin McAllister is spending Christmas with his newly divorced father and his soon-to-be wife, who are barely in the house, as well as their staff – Mr. Prescott the butler and Molly the maid. When the house-owners are out during the day, Kevin fends off previous foe Harry and his new wife Vera, who have a secret accomplice working in the house. This was made specifically for TV, the first of the franchise to be so, and it feels like it. Barring the character names and concept of “hijinks to protect the house” there is very little to connect it to the IP. It was designed as a backdoor pilot for ABC, with the intention being that it would get picked up for a full series but this never happened and means that it feels like a Children’s TV show from the ABC network in the early 2000s.

There’s snappy editing galore and enough screen-wipes to make George Lucas proud, but it’s the pacing and script that do the most damage. Whilst the former installments took their time, allowing the audience to get familiar with the characters and their surroundings, this one just throws you into it. News of the divorce is shoehorned into dialogue within the first five minutes and the scenes rarely take place far from Mr. McAllister’s glorious mansion. Gone too are the softer lighting and barrage of Christmas colours, replaced with harsh studio-esque lighting and barely any decorations save for the tree. Then there’s the score. John Williams is a titan of the music industry and, even if he only composed for the original two, his influence can be felt in Nick Glennie-Smiths score for the third installment. Teddy Castellucci was brought in for Taking Back the House and he does a decent job for the task he was assigned but it doesn’t really hold a candle to previous installments.

That’s not to say that there’s nothing of value. Acting veterans Erick Avari and Barbara Babcock turn in solid performances as Prescott and Molly while Actor French Stewart takes over the role of Marv from Daniel Stern with as much energy as when he took over as Inspector Gadget from Matthew Broderick. It’s a zany, over-the-top performance but it fits the tone of the film and often provides a giggle. The dynamic he has with his wife Vera is also quite nice and it is funny watching him banter with Kevin like they’re old friends. Had this been a stand-alone film I doubt anyone really would have given it much notice but it does carry the Home Alone name. More than that, it features the original characters (for the most part, two of the McAllister children have vanished). As an early 2000s ABC production, it’s allowed to be tolerable but as a Home Alone film it needs to be more than that. The original is a Christmas classic alongside the likes of It’s a Wonderful Life and How The Grinch Stole Christmas despite being several decades newer than them. It has an inviting vibe and is simply drenched in the feelings of the season. The sequel managed to feel festive too and even the third one is an acceptably goofy comedy that appeals more to children than family’s. Taking Back the House feel corporate. It feels like a cash-grab designed to appeal to peoples nostalgia, without understanding why the IP works so well.

The film would fail to provide that TV series that the creative team hoped it would and it would take another decade before ABC would try again. That’s a pretty damning critique in itself and it’s hard not to agree with the sentiment. Honestly, trying to find the good in this film was difficult and it’s only a film that should be recommended to Home Alone completionists but that’s what we do here. No film is without merit, even if you have to dig deep to find it.

Besides, it doesn’t hurt to be a little kind at this time of year.

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.

Doctor Who Christmas Specials: The Moffat Era (Part 2)

Last Christmas

It’s never just a fun little sci-fi adventure, there’s always at least one extra layer. The whole show is like this, delivering a message even if you don’t notice it, but it’s especially true of these festive episodes which pick the most impactful ideals. This time, The Twelfth Doctor and Clara face off against face-hugging aliens that send people to sleep as they slowly dissolve their brains and only Santa Clause can stop them. It’s all very silly, a little dark at times and constantly keeps the audience guessing but the episode’s meaningful message is hidden in plain sight – Last Christmas. As is pointed out during the adventure, every Christmas is somebody’s last with someone else. What’s upsetting is that you don’t know it’s the last Christmas until the day itself has passed. Christmas is finite, lasts for one day out of the year, and a lot can change in between celebrations. Relationships can end and lives can be lost so every Christmas should be cherished.

This doesn’t mean that the season should be without grief and the episode makes that clear too. Clara is facing her first Christmas without the love of her life Danny Pink. When she finds herself celebrating the day with him in a deadly dream, she contemplates allowing herself to die knowing that she will do so at her happiest. Ultimately, she allows herself to wake up because, while people may not always be with us, the memories made with them are. And what is Christmas for if not making memories?

The Husbands of River Song

Christmas specials aren’t designed to flow neatly into each other. There’s a year of real time between each and a whole series-worth of storytelling. Companions come and go, villains are fought and defeated, The Doctor’s appearance occasionally changes. However, if any era was close to having it’s own structure, it’s this one. The theme of Last Christmas carries over as beloved femme fatale River Song makes her final appearance to fight alongside The Doctor. Having been introduced by Moffat during the RTD era, it makes sense that he would wish to give her closure, especially since her timeline has been so turbulent. Her and The Doctor are never meeting in the right order but here, their timelines finally sync up, in her final adventure before that fateful trip to The Library.

This episode almost mirrors that first meeting, where the Tenth Doctor didn’t know who she was, by having her fail to recognise him. She is forever seeking him out and is aware of every face from his first regeneration cycle but is unaware that he has been gifted a new one with a brand new face. Of course, this doesn’t last forever and fans finally get the River/Doctor dynamic where they both have all the details. It’s a melancholy meeting because we and The Doctor know that this is their final night together at the Singing Towers of Darillium. She spends the majority of the episode oblivious to his presence and believes he doesn’t truly care about anyone because he can’t afford to as the universes protector. His final act of love for her proves her wrong in one of the sweetest and most heartbreaking moments of the show because of course he cares. He doesn’t protect the universe because he wants to be praised or rewarded, he does it because it’s right and, above all, it’s kind. If there was ever any way to approach the year ahead…there it is.

The Return of Doctor Mysterio

Superheroes are an interesting concept. Everybody lives a double life to an extent, hiding at least one secret from everyone they know, but superheroes take that to the extreme. They invite the age old query “if you had powers and anonymity, would you use them for good or evil?” which can often lead to some hefty introspection. The stories can be silly (Shoutout to The Condiment King) but at their core they usually say something about humanity. Superman fights for truth, justice and a better tomorrow while Batman fights for what is right even if his methods can be a little sketchy. This episode explores much of that idea – erring on the Superman side of things.

Of course, one could argue that The Doctor is something of a superhero himself. He sweeps in from nowhere when there is danger, barely ever sticks around to receive any gratitude and almost never tells anyone his real name. The main difference is that he isn’t living two seperate lives, there’s no Bruce Wayne to his Batman. However, like many, he has two very different faces. The public Doctor laughs in the face of danger whilst the private Doctor is sadder because he knows nobody can see. This special sees him grappling with the loss of River Song, meaning it also flows quite nicely from the previous special. His current companion Nardole (again, from the previous special) is doing what he can to help but the only true cure for grief is time. There’s no antidote for this pain, it just has to be lived with until one day you find you’ve barely thought about it at all. Anyone who can do that is a true superhero.

Twice Upon A Christmas

The twelfth Doctor has always been underrated. It’s no secret that a large section of the general public stopped watching the show when Russell T Davies left and that numbers continued to dwindle as the Moffat years went on. It’s a genuine shame because, whilst the Eleventh Doctor was good, this Twelfth incarnation was everything the famous Time Lord should be. He was mysterious, charismatic, charming, fantastical and just a little bit grumpy. Actor Peter Capaldi once said that he was aiming to channel all the men who had come before him, particularly classics like William Hartnell and Jon Pertwee, which absolutely comes across. It’s particularly prevalent here as a regenerating Twelfth Doctor encounters a regenerating First Doctor portrayed by David Bradley.

Bradley’s characterisation isn’t perfect, being overly sexist in a way that Hartnell never was, but has the same inquisitive nature and cheeky attitude. He’s clearly written this way to demonstrate how far society has (allegedly) come since 1963in terms of the attitude towards women but the show was never like that. It has always represented the best of humanity, regardless of the year. The very first episode was produced by the late Verity Lambert – a woman – and directed by the talented Waris Hussien – a gay, British Indian – which set the standard for representation behind the screen as well as on it. This episode features the introduction of Jodie Whittaker’s 13th Doctor, which was a landmark moment in the shows history, but the plot isn’t building up to her specifically. With both the First and Twelfth Doctors refusing to regenerate, it’s about how far this show has come and how long it could continue to go. Sure, Jodie gets a couple extra seconds to really bask in her presence but then it’s straight back into business as usual. Pretty much sums up the end of the year too. Let’s all take a little moment to bask in the year just gone before diving into the one to come.

Doctor Who Christmas Specials: The Moffat Era (Part 1)

A Christmas Carol

Probably the most well known Christmas tale aside from the Nativity Story and for good reason. The tale of miserable miser Ebenezer Scrooge, whose heart is changed by the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future, has everything. It’s filled with all the joy and heartache that the yuletide season can bring as well as a sprinkling of scares but it primarily features an important message about life itself. Every single adaptation, regardless of quality, manages to capture at least an inkling of that spirit because the story at it’s source is so pure, and this episode is no exception. Crotchety curmudgeon Ezran Sardick is unwilling to allow a spaceship to land on the planet whose skies he controls, risking the lives of all onboard, until The Eleventh Doctor pulls a Christmas Carol on him. In a fascinating twist to the classic tale, The Doctor spends many Christmases with him and a young woman named Abigail who Ezra falls in love with despite her short lifespan. It switches between these adventures in the past and Old Kazran in the present as he deals with these newly acquired teenage memories. All the elements of the globally famous book are here, just adapted slightly and with a timeline twist that only The Whoniverse could provide.

This is notably the very first Christmas special where The Doctor is joined by his full time companions, in this case the recently married Amy Pond and Rory Williams, as well as the third time that he joins in with a Christmas dinner. It also features real snow, which will become a constant for this era, and zero on-screen deaths, which will not be a constant ever again. As far as Christmases for the timelord go, this is a fairly relaxed one (unless you count the shark).

The Doctor, The Widow and The Wardrobe

Christmas isn’t easy for everyone. It’s a special day for many but, even for them, life carries on. After all, December 25th is just one of 365 days in the year. This particular episode sees newly war-widowed Madge taking her son and daughter to an uncle’s country house for the holidays. Waiting for them is the house’s new caretaker – The Doctor – who has recently faked his death in front of his friends (Amy, Rory and River) meaning he is the loneliest he has been in quite some time. The messaging in this episode is likely to hit harder than in previous years as it deals directly with processing grief. Madge knows that if she tells her children that their father is gone, then they will forever link that to this time of year, which is heartbreaking enough on it’s own, but it’s the very human way that The Doctor responds that may cause a few tears. His response is one of the most meaningful lines The Doctor, or any other character on the show, has ever uttered: What’s the point of them being happy now when they’re going to be sad later? The answer is, of course, because they are going to be sad later.”

It’s impactful on its own but it means more coming from The Doctor at this particular moment because kindness always means more when it comes from someone who needs it the most. He just wants to provide a magical Christmas for this family, knowing it’s something he can never have, especially with those closest to him. Eventually, the adventure ends and Madge gives him some tough motherly love about being with those you love at Christmas which leads to The Doctor to visit the Ponds and unveiling the truth of his survival. It’s another beautiful, quiet moment that requires no dialouge to convey how much this reunion means to him. Actions speak louder than words and choosing who you spend Christmas with is one of the most impactful actions of all.

The Snowmen

Love isn’t always easy, especially if it ends in loss. Unfortunately, this lesson is often learned the hard way – through first hand experience. The world feels unjust and cruel, like nothing will ever matter again. It’s easy to shut yourself away from everyone and become ambivalent to those who still care because having feelings again just opens you up to more pain. This is the situation The Doctor finds himself in as the episode begins, only to be pushed into a plot involving carnivorous snowmen and a secretly cockney nanny, but his heart isn’t in it initially. This incarnation of The Doctor was known and loved for his whimsical delight and enthusiasm, which was present in his previous special, so to see him like this is upsetting. It feels wrong.

Of course, as the adventure progresses so does he. He finds himself lost in the mystery and fails to realise how much fun he’s having until he clocks himself in a mirror. Without even thinking about it, he has adorned his iconic bowtie, which he’d abandoned it when he no longer wanted to be The Doctor. It’s a small moment but it’s poignant as those moments often are. All it takes is a small moment of self reflection (metaphorical or literal) to remember how good things used to be and to realise that they could be again. Sure, life has its sorrows, but they make those moments of joy even more meaningful. Find things and people that you love and hold on for as long as you can. Treasure those precious memories because it’s those experiences that make life worth living.

The Time of The Doctor

Another regeneration special and another reminder that it’s okay that nothing last forever. As The Doctor finds himself in a stalemate in the town of Christmas on the planet Trenzalore (where it’s prophesied he will die) he faces his mortality and his principles. Yes, he could leave, allowing the town to be destroyed by every villain he’s ever faced but he never would. The Doctor will always fight for what is right, down to his last breath, for even just one life. Even here, as he approaches the end of his final regeneration, he tells the townsfolk that he has a plan because he would rather give them hope than allow them to wallow in despair. The Doctor stands for hope, kindness and the promise that someone out there cares.

That’s true of the show as a whole. For those who love it, it’s a safe space that’s always there when it’s needed. Stories can have dark moments but with The Doctor at your side, there’s no need to be scared. The show has a lasting impact on the fans and this episode is a powerful reminder of that legacy. This special aired Christmas Day 2013, one month after the 50th anniversary special The Day of The Doctor aired in cinemas around the world, and it felt like a defiant stand to anybody who thought the show was close to finished or a niche interest. Doctor Who has been around for nearly 60 years now, and fan-willing, it could go for another 60 because it’s a premise full of promise – all of time and space. The Doctor has 13 more lives (11 as I write) and every single one of them will have their time. This episode asks the oldest question “Doctor Who?” and there’s your answer.

Doctor Who Christmas Specials: The RTD Era

There’s never really been time for seasonal celebrations in the Whoniverse. The classic run only aired on Christmas Day once, during the 12 week-long story The Daleks Master Plan, with a Christmas specific episode titled The Feast of Steven. The footage is currently missing, as is much of the William Hartnell era, thanks to the BBC wiping tapes to re-use at the time. They weren’t to know it would be one of the most popular shows on Earth. It’s especially frustrating for this case in particular because an episode like that never aired again during the classic run. In fact, no episode was ever broadcast on Christmas Day again…until 2005. That’s when showrunner Russell T Davies, who had recently revived the show for a new generation, aired the first of his dedicated Christmas specials The Christmas Invasion. These specials continued throughout his 5-year stint as showrunner, becoming something of a running joke for characters on the show itself and cemented the beloved day as a British Christmas Tradition.

The Christmas Invasion

There is something very human about this episode. That shouldn’t be a surprise given it focuses on human characters, with The Doctor out of commission having just regenerated, but it’s how it shows the humanity within people that makes it wonderful. With Earth under threat of alien invasion on Christmas day and ⅓ of the world’s population being held hostage on rooftops via blood control, it’s up to the human race to save themselves. But how do you handle such a crisis? Do you attempt peaceful negotiations or plan a “defensive” attack and face the potentially deadly consequences? Of course, The Doctor awakes but British Prime Minister Harriet Jones still makes her final decision and she faces the career-defining ramifications.

It also serves as a spectacular introductory episode for The Tenth Doctor. David Tennant slips into the role comfortably, bringing an element of comedy, but still brings an air of gravitas that demands attention whenever he speaks. He does so in just 15 minutes of screentime, so it’s no surprise looking back that he became one of the nation’s favourite Doctors. There are plenty of noteworthy performances throughout the rest of the episode too, particularly from Penelope Wilton as Harriet Jones (former MP for Flydale North and current Prime Minister). It’s clear that she’s afraid but it’s never for herself, rather for the people of her country and the rest of the world, but it’s masked by a steely resolve. Meanwhile Billie Piper as Rose Tyler brings a layer of dramatic emotional devastation over losing the Doctor that she knew whilst still having the courage to stand in his place as Earth’s spokesperson and defender. It’s an episode about having hope, even when it feels like there’s none left, and what’s more Christmassy than that?

The Runaway Bride

The Doctor’s own humanity is front and centre here. For the first time since he met Rose, he finds himself alone whilst mourning a great loss. When Donna Noble materialises in the TARDIS on her wedding day, he becomes swept up in a plot that dates back to the dawn of time even though he doesn’t have to. He only initially gets involved out of curiosity but, as the plot progresses,it becomes clear that he’s sticking around to save Donna’s life because (despite not wanting to) he cares. It’s clear from the mournful looks he gives her, and the ones that he keeps to himself, that he needs to save someone…anyone. There’s a sweet and simple moment where they’re sitting on a rooftop having just escaped a robotic santa in the TARDIS where The Doctor puts his coat around her. It’s a tiny gesture but, given his desire to be uninvolved, it’s clear how meaningful this act is.

It all builds to the moment where The Doctor faces off against the enemy, defeating her in an act of pure rage. He isn’t doing this because he’s worried about humanity or even because he’s worried about Donna, he’s doing it because he feels alone and doesn’t care what happens to him. For him, this is a moment of acceptance of his place in the universe and his final sacrifice for humanity because the pain of his losses is too much to bear. Donna stops him but she still refuses to travel time and space with him. It’s rare that someone turns him down and it clearly stuns him. He once again finds himself all alone, which breaks his hearts because life is only truly an adventure if it’s shared.

Voyage of the Damned

In times of struggle, there should be no class divide. In times of crisis, everybody is human…or alien as the case may be. Once again The Doctor finds himself stumbling alone into an evil scheme, only to find himself surrounded by a delightful cast of characters. On the space cruiseliner Titanic, whose crew features robotic angels set on murdering everyone, there is no shortage of class representation. There’s the rich businessmen who feel like they deserve their wealth, the waiting staff who have very little and the farmers who toil away endlessly to earn theirs. It’s easier to sympathise with some of the characters more than others but it’s not difficult to hate the villain behind the whole scheme – a morally bankrupt CEO. It doesn’t matter how many people die, even if it’s everyone on Earth, so long as he gets his paycheck. Whilst this portrayal of CEO’s is comical, the underlying truth unfortunately is not. For the rich, it’s all about getting richer.

Meanwhile, the story manages to grapple with grief and loss. The cast is larger than just The Doctor and his companion but each character is fleshed out in a way that makes them easy to root for…even the stockbroker. It wouldn’t be a Christmas special without death and this one is no exception, featuring several of them, with each more devastating than the last. They are all inspired to sacrifice themselves, because that’s what they feel The Doctor would do, and his guilt is evident but grief can and should be felt at Christmas. Not everybody makes it from one Christmas to the next and that hurts but it doesn’t mean that feeling should be avoided. Celebrate Christmas for those you’ve lost with those you haven’t.

The Next Doctor

Sometimes Doctor Who is just a classic Doctor fights the monster story with a lot of heart. Battling the cybermen in 1800’s London alongside a man claiming to be The Doctor is one such tale. The major draw at the time was the spectacle of it all and the tease of a Doctor we hadn’t yet met. David Tennant’s Tenth Doctor was beloved by the nation (still is) so his leaving the role was a major deal. The announcement was made prior to the airing of this special so it wasn’t improbable that 11 (or even 12) could have popped up. Of course, this turned out not to be the case but that’s a shame because David Morrisey is one of the best Doctor’s we never had. He embodies the very heart of the character. He’s charming, suave, and charismatic in a way similar to classic incarnations like The Fifth Doctor. His impassioned speech to a crowd of Victorians about how The Doctor has saved humanity countless times and has never been thanked turning into a raucous applause for the man himself is a beautiful moment.

The previous two specials have left The Doctor alone and grieving but here he finally gets a moment of peace. For the first time since The Christmas Invasion, he is convinced to enjoy a Christmas dinner. Given everything he’s been through, and everything he’s about to go through, it’s a brief moment of levity that brings joy to the soul.

The End of Time

It’s apt that this is ultimately a story about fate and acceptance. This two-parter was a major event at the time as, for many people, it was their first regeneration. David Tennant had been the titular timelord for 5 years and was adored by the general public but his fate was the same as every other actor to play the role – to leave. This idea is baked into the plot, which sees him facing off against The Master on a global scale. It’s been prohpisied that he’s going to die but he isn’t ready and is barely holding back his frustration. It perfectly echoes the emotions of the audience who were’nt ready to let him go either.

However, as it must, his fate arrived all the same. The Tenth Doctor, though upset, understands and accepts that it’s his time to go. He takes an emotional walk down memory lane, seeing where all his companions are and how they’re doing, seemingly to put himself at ease. The universe is currently resting easy, as are those in it that he cares about, so there’s no stone left unturned for him. The episode only shows Ten’s companions (although The Sarah Jane Adventures later clarified it was all of them) which makes a great deal of sense because it brings everything full circle. It’s obviously sad to see him go but visiting his companions serves as a reminder of all the good times. It’s almost like a clean slate, so that The Eleventh Doctor can burst onto the scene without baggage and embark on his own adventures. What a dynamic entrance it is too filled with excitement and wonder. This wasn’t to be the final festive regeneration (in fact it’ll be a little bit of a recurring thing) but it was the first and it knew the weight it carried. It was big, bold and beautiful.

Home Alone 3

Franchises should take risks. The inevitability of mediocrity looms large, and every franchise ever created is an example of how to keep audiences engaged. The Fast and Furious films pivoted from being serious and character-driven to over-the-top heist movies. Doctor Who recasts the show, including production teams, every few years. So how do sequels the beloved Christmas classic Home Alone go about this? The original, about young Kevin McCallister protecting his house from 2 bumbling criminals, is small-scale whilst the sequel, Lost in New York, turns the tables by having them face off again in a larger location that neither side know well. The third installment… is a James Bond film.

Home Alone 3 had initially been pitched as a direct successor to Lost in New York and was due to be produced at the same time, however, this idea never came to fruition. A second pitch was concocted in the mid-1990s and would see a teenage Kevin once again defending his home from Harry and Marv but Macauly Culkin had retired from acting after 1994’s Richie Rich. This was, in large part, due to issues surrounding his family, career, and earnings. His father had been abusive, forcing Macauly into acting at a young age and, although he found himself enjoying it, he soon grew tired of it. On top of this, he was being kept from his financial earnings, although that was easily rectified with Macauly removing his parents’ names from his Trust Fund and hiring an executor. Simultaneously, a court battle was taking place between the Culkin parents, who had never married, over the custody of their children. None of this would prevent 20th Century Fox from plowing ahead with the Home Alone 3 which was finally released in 1997.

The story follows 8-year-old Alex Pruitt who is left home by himself with chickenpox while his siblings go to school and his parents work. He finds himself in possession of a remote-controlled car that contains a $10 million military missile-cloaking microchip which is being hunted down by an infamous terrorist organisation. 4 members in particular conspicuously move into Alex’s street to systematically check each house on the block, however, Alex keeps track of them and is constantly calling the police. At its centre, this is a spin on The Boy Who Cried Wolf but it never fully follows through on this premise, with Alex eventually catching the criminals and being hailed as a hero.

What’s interesting is this film’s relationship with the original Home Alone as it’s left unclear as to whether or not this takes place in the same continuity. The previous events and characters are never mentioned but the Pruitt’s house is in the same Chicago suburbs as the McCallisters. It’s a clever way of handling continuity as it allows for the film to be totally ignored by those who hate it and provide a smooth transition to those who like it. That said, home Alone 3 is noticeably similar to the original. Both feature an 8-year-old with a lovable, smartass personality whilst being a little wiser than their years. However, whilst Kevin has an adorable charm, Alex comes across as slightly obnoxious. On top of this, they are each part of a family that doesn’t treat them well. Whilst Kevin is in a house with 13 other people, almost being ignored and struggling to make his voice heard, Alex has 2 siblings who treat him like garbage with parents who allow that behavior but don’t participate in it. The elderly neighbour also makes an appearance in the form of the crotchety Mrs. Hess who can’t hold a candle to Old Man Murphy. She isn’t a bad character, she’s an utter delight when she’s on-screen, but she doesn’t really go through an arc or add to the plot in any meaningful way like Murphy did.

The major difference is the villains. Harry and Marv are a classic slapstick duo who only interact with Kevin and provide a minor threat. Home Alone 3 has 4 terrorists who are a global threat and are implied to be ready to murder this child. Their comeuppance is fun, but it sets the stakes way too high and requires a much larger suspension of disbelief than 2 bumbling burglars. These are professional villains, yet they are easily bested by an 8-year-old who has an evening to prepare. The traps themselves are highly creative, close to lethal at times, especially the lawnmower which is a neat holdover from the novelisation of Lost in New York. Perhaps the largest issue is how cartoonish they are, which was a large complaint with Lost in New York, and which is amplified here.

The cartoonish aspects are what keep Home Alone 3 an entertaining film, as opposed to less than average. The plot is oversized and features over-the-top acting which makes for the weakest installment so far but it still amuses the audience for an hour and a half. There was definitely a capacity for it to over-rely on nostalgia but with new characters and a fresh score, it’s clear this wasn’t the direction the studio wanted to go down.

At least, not yet.

Until Next Time…

Signed: Your festive neighbourhood queer

The Grinch (2018)

With Benedict Cumberbatch voicing The Grinch in his attempts to ruin festivities for the Who’s of Whoville, this story is an amalgamation of all that came before, with a couple of new ideas sprinkled in. Much like the 2000 adaptation, this Grinch has a tragic backstory, however instead of being raised by lesbians and hating Christmas from the start, he was an orphan whose orphanage stopped celebrating the holiday. Whilst the former opts to keep his Christmas hatred a mystery, amplified by a traumatic childhood event, the latter robs him of mystery entirely. He doesn’t hate Christmas, really, he hates being alone. It robs him of that unfathomable maliciousness that makes the character so great. It isn’t helped by the narration keeping the classic line “The Grinch hated Christmas, The whole Christmas season. Now please, don’t ask why, No-one quite knows the reason.”

His overall attitude is softer too. Near the beginning of the film, he ventures into town to stock up on food and whilst there is treated by the script and the Who’s as a grumpy old curmudgeon. He does some mean things, like knocking over a child’s snowman, but the child merely seems disgruntled, as if this sort of thing happens all the time. In previous iterations, the Grinch either hasn’t met the Who’s (1996) or has his name mentioned in hushed whispers (20000) but here, he seems fairly well known and not disliked. His neighbour Mr Bicklebaum always greets him with a smile and an attempted hug. He’s less of a villain and more of a Town Kook. He also treats his dog Max with much more respect, as a best friend rather than an overly-faithful companion. The plot adds a subplot where The Grinch finds a reindeer named Fred to pull his sleigh and allows him to stay with them. This is clearly meant to set up a rivalry between Fred and Max (a la Feathers and Gromit in The Wrong Trousers) but the Grinch never acts like he has any intention to replace his friend. He continues to use Max as his assistant regardless with the only real moment of tension being Fred making The Grinch’s morning coffee. Fred leaves shortly before the big heist so that Max still has to pull the sleigh, but returns at the film’s end to help prevent the sleigh from plummeting over the top of Mount Crumpitt.

The other big change is Cindy Lou Who, who used to be no older than two. Here she is 5 or 6 years old, like her live-action counterpart, and one of 3 children, like both her previous iterations. However, she is now the child of a single mother and wants to capture Santa to ask for his help in making her mother’s life easier. It’s a cute subplot but often feels like it distracts from the main plot. In The Grinch (2000), Cindy Lou is researching The Grinch’s past to solve her own ‘yuletide doubts’ (in her own words), thus acting as both an insight into his character and into the mentality of the Whos. Here, she is on her own journey, completely separate from The Grinch, with the meeting of the two coming across as more of a coincidence. It’s not that her plot is irrelevant, it’s actually perfectly in keeping with the morals of Dr. Seuss, rather that it pads out an already padded movie. It feels like there are two films here, but neither one is being given the time that they deserve.

The final act of padding comes in the form of narration from musician Tyler, The Creator. Being based on a short children’s book, and given previous adaptations of said books, it makes sense that there would be narration. However, instead of using all the lines from the original source material, the script adapts them and adds to them. Both previous adaptations had used every word, so to replace them here feels utterly absurd. Seuss’ work survives, in part because his writing’s so tight and to change even a single line feels close to sacrilege. Then there’s the remix of You’re A Mean One, Mr Grinch, which provides an update to something classic despite it not needing updated, as well as being tonally inconsistent with the rest of the film.

The main issue The Grinch (2018) has is that it is the third adaptation of this tale but that it doesn’t add anything to the mythos. The original 1966 adaptation brought in music and colour whilst the 2000 adaptation was a misinterpreted mockery of capitalism and send-up to classic action movies. The 2019 adaptation seeks only to entertain, which it does but is ultimately inferior when compared to its predecessors. This comparison is the root issue that any adaptation will have to overcome and it’s not something that the Illumination team was able to overcome.

The message of the original (that Christmas is about being with the people we love) is there, and rises to the surface regardless of what gets thrown on top of it., but this feels like it only happens because that original message is so strong. The Grinch is like any other Illumination picture in that it’s very pretty to look at but therein lies perhaps the biggest problem. This is just like any Illumination film and The Grinch shouldn’t be done that way. If you’re looking for a child-friendly take on this story then the old adage is true:

There’s nothing like the original.

Until Next Time…

Mickey’s Christmas Carol

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. With a story as long as A Christmas Carol, it makes sense that any visual adaptation would be lengthy. However, this isn’t always the case; the earliest films based on the festive favourite by author Charles Dickens were lacking in minutes. A 1901 British adaptation clocked in at just over 6 minutes, an American 1908 adaptation (which is now lost) at 15 minutes, and another American adaptation in 1910 at just 13 minutes. Even the first feature-length adaptation The Right to be Happy was only 55 minutes, just shy of the average 90-minute runtime of later feature-length films. Perhaps the most famous of these short tales was Mickey’s Christmas Carol in 1983.

Running at 26 minutes, and initially released along with a re-issue of 1977’s The Rescuers (in the US) and a re-issue of 1967’s The Jungle Book (in the UK), Mickey’s Christmas Carol features a variety of classic Disney Animated characters perfectly cast in the various roles. The titular mouse brings his childlike optimism to the role of Bob Cratchitt, employee of the notorious Ebeneezer Scrooge, whilst the miserable miser himself is aptly portrayed by Scrooge McDuck, who was named and partially based on the character. McDuck’s Scottish accent gives his iteration of Scrooge a unique quality without ever falling into the absurdity that such an accent can lend itself to. The trio of ghosts are comprised of early-era Disney characters like Jiminy Cricket, Willie the Giant, and Big Bad Pete. Jiminy served as a companion and conscience to Pinnochio in the 1940 film of the same name and brings equal level-headedness to his role as the Ghost of Christmas Past. Willie was the antagonist of Mickey and the Beanstalk in 1947’s package-film Fun and Fancy-Free. He’s much kinder but equally dim in his portrayal as the Ghost of Christmas Past. Pete has been an adversary of Mickey Mouse since the very first short film from Walt Disney Animation, 1928’s Steamboat Willie and his menacing aura is perfect for the role of the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come. The background characters are comprised of an array of background characters from various films like 1933’s The 3 Little Pigs, 1949’s The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad, and 1973’s Robin Hood.

One of the film’s finer qualities is that it never focuses on the Disney characters, treating them merely as actors absorbed by their roles. Later Disney films like 2019’s The Lion King would bank their success almost purely on the name of the IP, so it’s refreshing to see the opposite happening here. It aims to tell a story and it’s almost a happenstance that the roles are taken by Walt Disney Animation characters. It understands that the most important aspect is bringing A Christmas Carol to children en masse, although there’s no knowing how successful this goal was. There are of course figures for the Rescuers re-release to which it was first attached ($21,000,000) but subsequent DVD releases and television airings make it difficult to pinpoint any specific number. It is safe to assume it did well given it airs every festive season on national television (stations may vary) and it remains within the pop cultural zeitgeist. It is also the first of (currently) 3 adaptations, being followed by 1992’s The Muppets Christmas Carol [REVIEW HERE] featuring the titular creations of Jim Henson, and 2009’s Disney’s A Christmas Carol [REVIEW HERE] featuring the voice of Jim Carrey.

The most unfortunate aspect is that, despite managing the bare bones of the story, it manages very little else. Each part of the tale is lighter in substance than the original novel and indeed almost every other adaptation. The Ghost of Christmas Past never visits Scrooge’s childhood, opting only to show the Fezziwig party, and the Ghost of Christmas Present spends only moments with the Cratchitts. Many moments that may seem iconic to some, like Scrooge’s fireside dinner and the revelry at Fred’s Christmas lunch, are omitted entirely. Arguably the closest section in terms of content is The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, which doesn’t include Scrooge’s belongings being scavenged but does include a couple of gravediggers (aptly played by a pair of weasels) making light of the miser’s death, noting that it’s unsurprising that nobody attended his funeral. It’s the most memorable scene of the entire story, dripping with a dark atmosphere and oozing the colour red. Using the smoke from Pete’s cigar is an excellent, and very 1980’s, use of props.

It’s the atmosphere that makes Mickey’s Christmas Carol so great. From the timeless look of 2D, hand-drawn animation, and the set design, to the song Oh, What a Merry Christmas Day which was written specifically for the special and plays over the opening. It sounds like a Christmas carol and is full of all the heart, soul, and warmth that those songs contain. Even if you don’t feel nostalgia for those classic Disney characters, this is still a worthwhile addition to the ever-expanding list of adaptations.

As Tiny Tim continuously proclaims:

God Bless Us, Everyone…

The Christmas Collection

29/11/19 The Muppet Christmas Carol

06/12/19 Dr Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966)

14/12/19 Home Alone

25/12/19 Die Hard

05/12/20 Disney’s A Christmas Carol

12/12/20 Dr Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

19/12/20 Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

25/12/20 Die Hard 2: Die Harder

05/12/21 Mickey’s Christmas Carol

12/12/21 The Grinch (2018)

18/12/21 Home Alone 3

04/12/22 Dr Who Christmas Specials (RTD Era)

11/12/22 Dr Who Christmas Specials (Moffat Era Part 1)

18/12/22 Dr Who Christmas Specials (Moffat Era Part 2)

25/12/22 Home Alone 4: Taking Back the House

Die Hard 2

I think that Die Hard 2 is often overshadowed by the original Die Hard, and I can understand why. The original is an action classic which has become an annual Christmas watch for many people, myself included. However the sequel is equally good, and as with many sequels, is much bigger in scale. Die Hard 2 (or Die Harder) was produced with double the budget ($7 million), double the cast, and was released in the summer of 1990. It also doubled the earnings of the original, with a worldwide box office of over $240 million and so I have to wonder where the love for this film has gone. Oh… it’s right here.

We follow ex NYPD Officer John McClane as he finds himself in a terrorist controlled airport on Christmas Eve while waiting for his wife’s plane to land. Once again, John finds himself facing off against this unforeseen threat, although this time with the added struggle of not being taken seriously by airport police. The main villain of our piece is Colonel Stuart who is portrayed with perfect poise and menace by William Statler- whom many folks will know from his portrayal of Death in the Bill and Ted films. All he wants is to commandeer the plane of a foreign political prisoner, and he is willing to hack the airport control tower and crash as many planes as it takes to get that done. With several planes circling the airport, running low on fuel and awaiting permission to land, there are a lot of lives at stake. The stakes here are higher than they were previously, and unlike before, John is not on his own, having to contend with local law enforcement and the airport management. Whilst they do eventually, inevitably, come to his aide, they remain hesitant of his heroics throughout most of the movie. They even go so far has to have him escorted out of the Control Tower when he finally has proof that one of their “punks and thieves” is a professional mercenary. Once again, the law enforcement in this franchise proves itself to be utterly undependable.

We are once again joined on our journey by the selfish and arrogant Richard Thornburg who is aboard the same plane as John’s wife Holly… much to his dismay. You may also know actor William Atherton from his role as Walter Peck in the original Ghostbusters, and his portrayal of self-centred jerks continue to be an absolute joy all these years later. Even as Thornburg is giving an interview on the news, live, over the phone, from the airplane… he is watching himself in a bathroom mirror. The absence of his character from the following sequels, though understandable, is a real shame because I could genuinely watch this character in a fake news show akin to The 9 o’clock News. The other star player is the late Fred Thompson, who portrays Air Traffic Flight Director Ed Trudeau. His performance feels genuine and you get the feeling that his character has been doing this job for years, but still cares about every single person in his airport. As his systems are taken away from him and his planes are left stranded in the air, he barely ever loses his cool. Every person in this or any other level of authority should aim to be this kind and respectable.

The big draw of Die Hard 2 the new setting. It’s often described as The One With The Airport as opposed to its predecessor The One With The Tower. It means that instead of navigating the small amount of space between several floors, John is having to run from one end of the airport to the other, which proves to be as tiring as getting shot at continuously. It also means that while the plot can have the same bones (John, terrorists, boom) it is delivered in a different way. Instead of dealing with these terrorists directly, he at times simply has to watch their actions play out. They have based themselves at a church on the outskirts of the airport grounds, placing them far enough away from the action that they won’t have to suffer any consequences, unlike the previous film where if the building had collapsed it would have killed everyone. John is stretched thin here while the terrorists are barely lifting a finger. Shifting location was a decision that worked for the most part in Home Alone 2 but with Die Hard 2 it proved to be the best of their many creative decisions.

On top of all this are the practical effects, which I could really just sum up with “exploding plane” but which deserve more attention than that. This was the first film to take a matte painted background and to composite live-action footage over the top of it. Although it was only used for the final scene, it would pave the way for the likes of Independence Day, and I can think of no better legacy. There is something about how practical the effects in this film are and how real it makes everything seem. I think that’s because they allow the events to take their toll on John and everyone around him. Much like with Die Hard John is left covered in grime, blood and injuries by the time the credits roll, in stark contrast to today’s action flicks which seem to have decided that their heroes cannot be shown to have weakness. That’s the thing with Die Hard 2. Yes, it’s bigger, and yes, there has to be a small suspension of disbelief, but it doesn’t feel fake or forced. It’s a good time and I really look forward to watching it every year.

Until Next Time…