Unus Annus: Month 3

*All typos are present in the original source and have been preserved for the sake of history*

[14/01/20] Fixing Mark’s Hole With Ramen but Every Time We Add Glue We Get 5% Closer to God

We try to fix the hole Mark punched in the wall with ramen to test thhe myth of whether it can be used for repairs. Also we don’t ventilate properly.

[15/01/20] Mark Steals Ethan’s Face

In an effort to steal his identity, Mark makes a mold of Ethan’s face. **THIS IS NOT A TUTORIAL.** We left out lots of vital information necessary to pull this off safely. If you’re interested in making your own face mold, there are many comprehensive tutorials on Youtube that can teach you. Always do your research and have a safety plan in place! Unus Annus!

[16/01/20] You Breathe You Die

The rules are simple: You Breathe, You Die.

Winner: Ethan

[17/01/20] 2 Absolute Beginners Experience the Dancing Glory That is Salsa

Salsa is the ancient art of dance whereby the dancers express thoughts and emotions through the undulations of their hips. We attempt to learn the mysterious ways of this sanctified dance.

Get Dancing @ https://www.thirdstreetdance.com

[18/01/20] DIY Geriatric Simulator

What does it feel like to be old? Well now you can find out with our patent-pending geriatric simulator!

[19/01/20] This is How We’ll Die

There are so many ways that our mortal souls can perish, but today we find out EVERY possible way that they could drift into the great beyond.

Deaths: Lightning, Heart Attack, Old Age, Falling, Poisoning, Intestinal Explosion, Burning, Drowning, Bear, Duelling, Plague, Shark, Bomb, Zombie, Allergic Reaction, Stampede, Aliens, Hitman, World of Warcraft, Steamroller, Asteroid, Being Bruce Willis in the movies “Armageddon”, “Looper” or “The Sixth Sense”

[20/01/20] We Cryogenically Freeze Ourselves

Long have men dreamed of eternal life. Walt Disney famously froze himself to awaken in a world ruled by The Mouse. Today we embark on that very same, frosty journey.

[21/01/20] This is What Being Tased Feels Like

A Taser is NOT a toy! Do not try this at home. Mark is a professionally trained idiot with people on standby to help in case something goes wrong. This is what it feels like to be hit with a taser or stun gun.

Note: Being tased sucks. Do what you can to avoid it

[22/01/20] What Happens When A Youtube Channel Dies

We explore the wasteland of channels past. Gone but not forgotten. Because the internet never forgets.

Answer: They stay up

The Channels: FPS Russia, FRED, Sam Pepper, LonelyGirl15

[23/01/20] Bad Bad Beans

In search of the energy to fuel a long day of making sweet sweet internet content, Mark and Ethan turn some bad bad beans into good good latte art. #LattAnnus (shoutout to Bon Appetit for inspiring this video)

[24/01/20] We Hired a Real Hypnotherapist to Analyze Our Darkest Dreams

Hypnotherapy is the art of mental suggestion. This isn’t the stage entertainment variety of hypnosis. This is real therapy to help people get in touch with what’s bothering them deep inside.

Find Liza Here ➤ https://healwithin.com

[25/ 01/20] We Turned Our Bodies Into Art

Art comes in many forms. This time it comes in the form of our bodies.

Ethan’s Body: The Reverse Flash

Mark’s Body: Poison Ivy

[26/01/20] Mark and Ethan Learn About the Human Body

Mark and Ethan learn the inner workings of the wonderful human body

[27/01/20] Mark Punishes Ethan

Ethan messed up. He messed up real bad… and now he has to pay.

[28/01/20] Strange (and Legal) Things You Can Do With Your Body After Death

Eventually, we’ll all have to decide what is to be done with our remains once we pass on. How will you be remembered?

The Things: Donate it do science, preserve it, get buried in various ways, launch it, endo-cannibalism

[29/01/20] DIY Cheese

Mark and Ethan explore the wonderful world of cheese. Will they succeed in becoming world class cheesemongers, or will their dreams curdle before their eyes?

[30/01/20] Hacking the Very Fabric of the Universe

Using the sacred texts of 5 Minute Crafts, we harness the incredible power of “life hacks” to achieve immortality.

[31/01/20] Looking at Long Lost Memes

Time never stops marching forward, even for memes. Like a black hole, once memes slip past the point of relevance they fade away into oblivion. Can we can pull them back from the shadows?

The Memes: Dancing Baby GIF, Advice Animals, You’re the Man Now Dog, The Rickroll, Rage Comics, Bad Luck Brian, Overly Attatched Girlfriend, ROFLcopter, It’s a Trap, Hampster Dance, All Your Base Are Belong To Us, Godwin’s Law, Bite of ’87, Tiny Hands OMFG

[01/02/20] Discovering the Secret of Eternal Life

While delving into the deepest pits of the Internet, Mark and Ethan discover the secret to everlasting life

The Secret: Eat healthy and stay active. Or upload your brain into a cybernetic organism

[02/02/20] Turning Mark into an E-Boy

In an attempt to keep his youth, Mark transform into an E-Boy

[03/02/20] Ethan Redefines Male Beauty

Ethan, a god of beauty, looked upon the world of male beauty and found it WANTING. Taking matters into his own, meaty claws, and redefines exactly what it means to be beautiful.

[04/02/20] Professional Fire Cupping (Going Even Further Beyond)

Mark and Ethan turn to a professional to feed their cupping addiction. Fire cupping… facial cupping… acupuncture cupping… where does it end?

Hybrid Wellness ➤ https://hybridwellness.net/

[05/02/20] An Extremely Sour, Not-at-all Sour Meal

Mark and Ethan experiment with miracle berries-the fruit that turns sour things sweet. Is there a limit to what these berries are capable of?

The Meal: Steak, Potato, Bread and salad followed by Red Velvet Cake. All covered in Citric Acid, Malic Acid and M-Berry

Sour Flavour Baseline: Grapefruit

[06/02/20] Literally Eating Fire

Yes, you read that right. Mark and Ethan learn how to literally eat fire. Don’t try this at home…

Taught By ► https://www.vixendeville.com/

[07/02/20] Unregulated Axe Throwing

While being watched over by the Axe Gods themselves, Mark and Ethan compete to see who is truly the axe-throwing champion

Mark’s Score: 16

Ethan’s Score: 11

[08/02/20] Literally Laying on Literal Broken Glass

Testing the limits of the human body, Mark and Ethan lay themselves upon a bed of broken glass. So sharp and so deadly that only the BRAVE and the BOLD could survive its teeth.

Our Teacher ► https://www.vixendeville.com

[09/02/20] Making an Indoor Tornado to Flex on Mother Nature

Mother Nature thinks that she alone holds the power of the elements in her big meaty claws… well what will she think when we CREATE A TORNADO INDOORS?!

[10/02/20] Nutball: The Most Dangerous Game

14 years ago, Mark changed the game of Nutball forever by inventing it. And now… Ethan gets to experience the glory that is THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME.

[11/02/20] Becoming a Master of Mime

To become a master of life and death, one must first become a master of the body. A master of movement. A master of mime.

Lorin ► http://www.mimetheatrestudio.com

[12/02/20] Discussing the Idea of Murdering Each Other but it’s Just a Joke and Definitely Not Serious Haha

It’s perfectly normal to discuss the possibility of how you would murder your friends with those friends and converse in great detail about how you would get away with said murder. We call this the Murder Your Friend Tag haha.

Signed: Your friendly neighbourhood queer

Unus Annus: Month 2

*All typos are present in the original source and have been preserved for the sake of history*

[15/12/19] You Made Beautiful Music for The Barrel…but Only One Could Win

You blew us away with the incredible music you crafted in honor of The Barrel. Now The Barrel can live on in our memories. All of the participants in this video are linked below. Please send love to them and everyone who made music by searching #RIPTheBarrel

[16/12/19] We had to Drink Each Other’s Pee

Through the power of the Life Straw, Ethan and Mark taste each other’s urine.

[17/ 12/19] Ethan Explores Mark’s Haunted Basement

Strange noises have been emanating from Mark’s basement. He dares not venture down there. He is no fool. But he knows a fool. He knows the most foolish fool there is…

[18/12/19] Giving Away our 1,000,000 Subscriber Gold Play Button

You helped us reach our goal faster than we ever thought possible. And true to our word, we set out to hand deliver the Golden Play Button directly to one of you!

Winner: Kingkasuma 2.0 on Youtube

[19/12/19] Ethan’s Relaxing and Totally Normal Nail Salon 💅🏼

As an act of friendship, Ethan attempts to calm Mark’s stress with a little spa time.

[20/12/19] Taped and Afraid

Mark wants to be immortalized in a sculpture but marble is too expensive and experts even more so. Thus the only options left are a Tape Sculpture and Ethan… what’s the worst that could happen? Surely Ethan wouldn’t be foolish enough to tape Mark’s mouth over so he can’t breathe right?

[21/12/19] What Was the Most Painful Thing We’ve Ever Endured?

We’re bringing Tier Lists into the 2020s with our Pain Scale to benchmark our most painful experiences.

Ethan: Treating a massive callous on his hand

Mark: Tumour removal from adrenal gland

[22/12/19] Donating Toys to Charity w/Jacksepticeye

In the spirit of giving, we set to work to fill up Mark’s sleigh with the help of our good pal JackSepticEye

[23/12/19] Harnessing our Dogs’ Unlimited Power

Like Icarus who came before them, Mark and Ethan fly too close to the sun. Or at least… they attempt to fly. Shoot for the moon and you’ll land among the stars. Shoot for the north pole and you’ll land about three inches from where you started.

Note: They tried sledding in the back yard. Unsuccessfully.

[24/12/19] Santa’s Mukbang (Drinking 1 Gallon of Eggnog)

Mark and Ethan attempt to match Santa’s insatiable hunger by consuming a mere fraction of the egg nog and cookies that Santa eats every Christmas.

[25/12/19] Forcibly Turning Mark Into Santa Claus Against His Will

In an attempt to complete the circle of life, Ethan turns Mark into Saint Nick.

[26/12/19] Preserving Ourselves in Wax

Improving our minds, bodies and souls is our #1 priority, so to preserve our temples of flesh even more, we dipped them in wax.

[27/12/19] Beating Inanimate Objects to Death

In search of a controlled environment to let out their anger, Mark and Ethan visit Rage Grounds in Los Angeles. No bottle, mug, or friendship is safe when the boys get a lead pipe in their hands.

Get Violent @ https://rageground.com

[28/12/19] Emotional Pain vs Physical Pain…Which is Worse?

Here at Unus Annus we’ve already rated our worst Physical Pains… so now it’s time to rank our Emotional Pain. Watch with care as we discuss the most traumatic experiences of our lives.

Ethan: His Grandma passing away

Mark: His Father passing away

[29/12/19] Duct Tape Crucifixion (Amy, Please Don’t Watch This Video)

Crucifixion was abolished a long time ago but no one was around to stop us so we took some duct tape and tried to attach each other to the walls and doors. Amy, please don’t watch this video.

[30/12/19] You Blink You Lose

The eyes are the window into the soul. You better not look away… you might miss something.

Winner: Ethan

[31/12/20] 2 Grown Men Attempt the Presidential Fitness Test

The Presidential Fitness Test is a benchmark to see if the youth of America are up to the arbitrary standards of fitness set forth by the government. Are we still up to the task? Are we still fit?

The Test: Curl-Ups, V-Sit Reach, Pull-Ups, Right-Angle Push-Ups, 1 Mile Run

[01/01/20] We Took the Polar Plunge

There is only one RIGHT way to start a new year: By submerging yourself in freezing cold water. #ColdusAnnus

[02/01/20] Hiding Our Sins From Amy’s Holy Peepers

Time has run out. Amy has returned. Will we be able to cover up the evidence of our sin from Amy’s eternal peepers?

[03/01/20] We Eat Bugs

Bugs are all around us. Tiny little morsels of nutrition just waiting to be cronched. Would you monch an insect? We did…

The Bugs: Cricket Flour Chips, Ant Lollipop (Ethan) Scorpion Lollipop (Mark), Weaver Ants, Chocolate-Covered Superworms, Female Rhino Beetle (Mark), Giant Waterbug (Ethan)

[04/01/20] DIY Bungee Jump (Please Don’t Try This)

A bungee jump is a great way to get an adrenaline rush but it’s so expensive! So we decided to make our own DIY Bungee Jump right in our backyard! What could go wrong?

Featuring: The Disclaimer Song

[05/01/20] We Have the BEST Thumbnails on YouTube and No One Can Tell Us Otherwise

Mark and Ethan go into the deep, dark depths of YouTube in search of the best and worst thumbnails.

The Contenders: Mr Beast, Fynnpire, The Odd 1s Out, Vanoss Gaming, Sea Nanners, JackSepticEye, Pewdiepie, Ssniperwolf, Girbeagly, Dope or Nope, Jenna Marbles

[06/01/20] Who Can Make Themselves Taller?

We are perfectly average humans in every single way. But with the power of technology can we BUILD ourselves taller?

Ethan: 7 and a half feet

Mark: 7 feet and 2 inches

[07/01/20] The Sensory Overload Tank

SEIZURE WARNING!! What’s the opposite of a sensory deprivation tank? A SENSORY OVERLOAD TANK! Ice bath + Eating Garlic + Bath Bombs + Strobe Lights + Air Fresheners + Loud Music + Icy Hot + Megaphone +…

[08/01/20] Recreating Ourselves as a Cursed Mannequin

We won’t be around forever… so what better way to immortalize ourselves than recreating ourselves as a cursed mannequin? This certainly won’t come back to haunt us…

[09/01/20] We Took an IQ Test

It’s finally time to find out who has big brain and who has smol brain.

Joint IQ: 137

[10/01/20] Ethan Finally Becomes a MAN

Mark teaches Ethan the ways of becoming a man… through hard MANual labor. Little does Ethan know the painful surprise that also comes with growing up…

Note: They built a dog house for Chica…well…a dog bed.

[11/01/20] Mark and Ethan go Casket Shopping

In yet another step towards preparing for the inevitable end, Mark and Ethan go shopping to find the perfect casket.

Get Buried @ https://abettercasket.com

[12/01/20] We Take a Lie Detector Test to Uncover Our Darkest Sins

For as long as humans have been able to speak, we’ve been able to lie. But thanks to modern lie detector technology, we can finally uncover the truth.

[13/01/20] Learning to Breathe Underwater

Just two dudes in a hot tub…

Ethan: 1 minute 39 seconds

Mark: 2 minutes 50 seconds

Signed: Your friendly neighbourhood queer

Unus Annus: Month 1

*All typos are present in the original source and have been preserved for the sake of history*

[15/11/19] Unus Annus

What would you do if you only had a year left to live? Would you squander the time you were given? Or would you make every second count? Welcome to Unus Annus. Today marks the beginning of our year-long journey where the only certainty is the end. In exactly 365 days this channel will be deleted along with all of the daily uploads accumulated since then. Nothing will be saved. Nothing will be reuploaded. This is your one chance to join us at the onset of our adventure. To be there from the beginning. To make every second count. Subscribe now and relish what little time we have left or have the choice made for you as we disappear from existence forever. But remember… everything has an end. Even you. Memento mori. Unus annus.

[15/11/19] Cooking With Sex Toys

Mark and Ethan start the first last day of their lives right with a healthy wholesome breakfast. A tool is useless in the wrong hands, so the boys start cooking the perfect breakfast with the right tools. Sex toys.

[16/11/19] Purging Our Sins With a Neti Pot

Mark and Ethan prepare their bodies for the afterlife with a Neti Pot Cleanse. This horrifying contraption is designed to clear the sinuses through the application of clean water and brute force.

[17/11/19] Hot Dog’d to Death

The boys chase their dreams of joining Joey Chestnut in the MLE hall of fame.

Ethan: 5 Hot-Dogs

Mark: 6 Hot-Dogs

[18/11/19] Making Our Own Sensory Deprivation Tank

Sensory Deprivation Tanks allow you to slip away from the noise of reality. The physical world melts away to reveal a deeper understanding of one’s self and the world as a whole. But they’re expensive. So we made our own.

[19/11/19] The Good Kind of Cupping 🙂

Speed Cup Stacking is a time honored tradition enjoyed by thousands across the globe. Mark and Ethan attempt to learn the ways of the cup to see if they can compete in the global cup arena.

[20/11/19] The Bad Kind of Cupping 😐

To be clear, Cupping Therapy isn’t bad. Mark and Ethan are bad. Cupping Therapy is an ancient healing art that involves vacuums and cups. Mark and Ethan know nothing about it but are committed to trying it for and on themselves.

[21/11/19] The Worst Kind of Cupping 😨

It’s been 12 Years since a certain video about girls and a cup hit the internet… and it’s never been the same since. Mark and Ethan google deep to discover where they are now… Also Mark has never seen it…

[22/11/19] Ethan Will Be Kicked in the Balls

It is inevitable. It is inescapable. Your fate is sealed, Ethan. Run if you must but it’s coming for you all the same.

Note: They were Body Zorbing in the back yard.

[23/11/19] Doing Each Others Make Up in the Dark

In preparation for the darkness of the void beyond, Mark and Ethan practice doing each other’s makeup in a pitch black room. Which one will get mascara in the eye?

Result: Not the worst I’ve ever seen

[24/11/19] Baby Hands Operation

Mark and Ethan strap on their baby hands and get straight to their most important job: Saving lives.

[25/11/19] Mark and Ethan Summon a Ghost

In November of 2019, Mark and Ethan went missing. The only piece of evidence that investigators could find was this tape. Be warned; what you are about to see is disturbing. Viewer discretion is advised.

[26/11/19] 2 Truths and 1 Lie — Waxing Edition

2 Truths and a Lie is a great way to get to know each other! But why not throw waxing in the mix to spice up the recipe? Also Ethan is going to take a bat to Mark’s van very soon.

[27/11/19] Poopsie Sparkly Critters (A Slime Surprise)

Poopsie Sparkly Critters are the latest and greatest slime toy sensation. Will they spit or will they poop? This question has been plaguing humanity for all time. Today… we answer it once and for all.

[28/11/19] Play-Doh Thanksgiving

Mark and Ethan are ready to celebrate their last Thanksgiving with you! And with Play-Doh! The tasty treat that’s fun to play with and not to eat! Don’t eat Play-Doh. **Sorry for the audio issues! Life is full of mistakes you can never take back…**

[29/11/19] Helium Therapy

As their voices grow higher, Ethan and Mark’s friendship grows stronger.

[30/11/19] Drawing Memes From Memory

These memes are dead. Long gone and long forgotten. But we cherish the memory of these memes by bringing them back from the depths of our subconscious and reacting to each other’s interpretations of said memes.

The Memes: This is Fine Dog, Dat Boi, Rebecca Black, Dancing Baby GIF, Numa Numa Guy, Dickbutt, Sarcastic Willy Wonka, Troll Face

[01/12/19] 1 Man 100 Accents

Ethan is a man of many talents. Accents is one of them. Watch and be amazed as he regales you all the accents of the world.

The Voices: Argentina, Austria, Papa New Guinea, Cuba, Russia, Italy

[02/12/19] An AI Predicts How We’re Going to Die

A.I. is advancing at an incredible pace and Talk to Transformer is the latest example of Artificial Intelligence being used in new and slightly scary ways. Can this A.I. predict how we will die?

[03/12/19] Mark Turns Ethan Into a Mummy to Prepare Him for the Great Beyond

Mummification is the key to eternal life after death. The ancient Egyptians went to great lengths to make the best mummies possible. Now, thousands of years later, with the help of modern technology we have perfected the process.

[04/12/19] The Chubby Gummy Challenge

Chubby Bunny is so last decade. We’re bringing challenge videos into the 2020s with the Chubby Gummy Challenge. And yes… it’s just as gross as you’d think.

Ethan Gummy Count: 22

Mark Gummy Count: 31

[05/12/19] We Buy a Professional Hypnosis Video and React to it

Hypnosis is the art of suggestion. And in 2019 there just so happens to be professional hypnosis videos for sale on the internet! So we buy one and hypnotize ourselves by reacting to it.

[06/12/19] Mark and Ethan Attempt an Escape Room

Escape Room… such a simple concept. You are trapped in a room and you have to escape. If you fail, the darkness will take you. Ethan and Mark venture to The Basement in Los Angeles to attempt their most devious escape room yet… THE COURTYARD.

Result: They Do Not Escape

[07/12/19] Ethan Destroys Mark’s Van With a Bat

The time has come. We gave you a challenge but you failed. Now, Mark’s precious van must pay the price. Rest in Pieces, The Barrel.

[08/12/19] There’s Still Hope…

The Barrel has left us and is with the great mechanic in the sky… but there may still be hope. Through the power of song, we may be able to bring her back. Upload your video using #RIPTheBarrel in the description and we’ll pick the winner one week from now. Who knows, maybe… just maybe, we’ll be able to make a miracle happen.

[09/12/19] Ethan Gives Mark a Viking Funeral

A Viking Funeral is when you send your dearly departed down a river on a boat and then light that boat on fire with a flaming arrow. Probably not historically accurate but neither is our reacreation.

[10/12/19] The Great Meat Mistake

The boys call upon their German heritage to help them stuff the most delicious sausages in the world.

[11/12/19] Acupuncture is NOT Painful

Mark and Ethan open their inner eye’s through the power of Acupuncture

Check out Valerie ► http://www.ercaclinic.com

[12/12/19] Floating in a Real Sensory Deprivation Tank

We tried to make a sensory deprivation chamber and failed miserably. Now… we go to the real deal. With 1500lbs of salt and a whole bunch of water, you’ll float to!

Just Float ► https://justfloat.com/

[13/12/19] Mark Reviews the Impossible Burger but There’s a Looming Sense of Impending Doom

Death is always watching… and in this case, it has a paintball gun.

Review: It’s Pretty Good

[14/12/19] We Made Nude Paintings of Each Other

Just 2 bros making nude paintings of eachother in the buff. Nothing wrong with it. Nothing right with it either but that’s not the point.

Signed Your friendly neighbourhood queer